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There’s No ‘I’ In Team

I do a lot of soul searching to understand who I am. What I am and what needs to change about me. The importance of teamwork, specifically in relationships, has me treating its importance like the Bible. I just want to go out there and spread its importance and to open people’s eyes.

In my previous relationship we did a lot of silent treatments and ignoring each other instead of communicating and working as a team to resolve an issue. Would you consider that relationship a loving one when you can’t even sit down with your partner and talk about it? That’s one of the red flags I’m not looking to bring into my next relationship. I’m looking to do better and create a healthier environment for my relationship to flourish in the presence of God.

Of course as humans mistakes can happen but the love we conceive should reflect the love of God. I’ve said to you few times about what I’d do if there’s ever an issue between us and my solution is to resolve it. To communicate, understand each other, and showcase our abilities to empathise through exchanging lens. To understand each other’s context means to exchange lens and see each other’s thought processes. Because if one’s thought processes was misguided by their own misinterpretation then the other must show them where they went wrong and guide them back.

I am not trying to continue the toxic traits of the past as I am looking to evolve spiritually, emotionally and mentally. But I have realised that as we are on a rocky road I am trying to resolve our issue. But I cannot do it because you don’t want to meet me halfway and work together to close this case. Now it has me wondering what can I do if my other half doesn’t want the same?

I am powerless and this is when you realise just how significant teamwork is. Together we are powerful but divided we aren’t (regarding teamwork). You have to ask yourself do you prefer to sit and stay in your corner than speak to the person you love? Would you rather give them the cold shoulder than give them the chance to make things right? Is giving the silent treatment greater than the the chemistry?

The space we created is our temple of love and we are the gatekeepers protecting our hearts, the king and queen, living inside the temple. Is giving silent treatment and the cold shoulder greater than the love? If it is then this is how the temple’s infiltrated because we would rather refrain and welcome resentment, bitter aftertastes to stick to the surface like a sticky substance.

Where I, one half of the team, am willing to clean up the mess you on the other hand might not want to or you might not be ready. But don’t give negativity the chance to settle in because problems should be treated like workplace accidents. Should be attended to instantly, documented and resolved.

You have to ask yourself don’t you want the change? Where in your team there aren’t silent treatments, cold shoulders and ghosting? When your previous relationship had all of those toxic traits why would you enter a new space continuing the cycle? You have been offered a way out of the immaturity to enter maturity.

I will say nothing but count the days you go without speaking to me. To give me a better understanding of how weak the love is and how strong the hate is. The same person you’ve been enjoying their presence, their company every day is also the same person you want to push away? How is it that a problem can go from seed to a blossoming plant within few hours? To give negativity that kind of space and time to settle in is dangerous.

These problems aren’t dealbreakers, nor red flags, they are resolvable. But as one half of this team I cannot solve this equation without your head. Two heads are better than one and always will be. In a relationship I believe that the one who hurts the other’s feelings must be given the chance to clean up the mess. Must acknowledge their mistakes, apologise, comfort their feelings and reassure them.

Emotional intelligence is extremely important. Work on yourselves always.

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